MANAGEMENT TIPS

Before we start we should know about management-
This is management all about-
1. Identifying the problem.
2. Finding solution alternatives.
3. Evaluating and analysing the alternatives .
4. Implementing the best alternative .

To become succeed in the field of management there are some things you should learn them by heart-
this is what managers expects from their employee
1.”We will do it” means “You will do it.”
2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”
3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on
the Same”
4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done ”
At least not tomorrow!”
5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means ”
I Have already decided, I will tell you what to do”
6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”
7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will
Talk later”
8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”
9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
Of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver On time.”
10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually Fought”

Persons in the field of management
1. Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One Month.
2. Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3. On site Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4. Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7. Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to Produce a baby .
9. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Lesson-1
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.